So Happy Together...: One Tough Week

Well there is good news and there is bad news. The good news is that the Zantac Christopher's doctor prescribed him is working like magic. From the very first dose, we have a whole new baby on our hands. Our days are filled with tons of smiles and coos, leaving little time for fussing or crying. Christopher has a veracious appetite as he catches up for loss time. In a mere four days he gained 10 ounces! He naps like a champ. We no longer cringe at the thought of being around company, worrying how Christopher will behave. Both Ryan and I feel bad that our son had to go through a rough patch in these past weeks. But all's well that ends well. We are so grateful he his healthy and happy.

So, you ask: what is the bad news? My milk supply is too low for our hungry little boy. How did this happen when things seemed ok in the breastfeeding department? Well its a matter of supply and demand. Mommy's milk is made quicker when the breast is emptied fully and often. Since Christopher was not feeling well with the reflux, he repeatedly cut his meal short, which in turn told my body to slow down milk production. Now that Christopher is chompin' at the bit, my production line is sooooo slow. So last week we had to supplement with formula. (ugh) I hit an ultimate low last Thursday. I couldn't keep the tears back as I watched Christopher hungrily gulp down bottles of formula. I felt unneeded, insufficient. But worst of all, I felt so distant from my little baby and very lonely. I mourned our nursing relationship. I had no idea it would ever hit me this hard. It snuck up on me, I was no where near ready to stop nursing Christopher. But this low point was what I needed to make a resolution: I would build my supply, and re-establish a nursing relationship, no matter what form it took. So began an intense time of pumping and frequent feeding. By pumping every two hours (even through the night), I am telling my body "production is up, kick it into high gear". It has been rough, but I am so very determined to make this work. Our days are a dance of nursing, supplementing (at first with formula then with breast milk) and pumping. Then there is the washing of the bottles and pump equipment, after which it is time to start the whole process over again. It is very taxing. It is also worth it, since everyday I see slight improvements. I am grateful that I am still able to nurse Christopher, even if it isn't exactly how I imagined it. I will continue this routine until next week, at which point I will re-evaluate the situation. Wish us luck!